


Gun Shy

by Ultra_chrome



Category: due South
Genre: Community: stop_drop_porn, M/M, Tent Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-01
Updated: 2006-10-01
Packaged: 2017-11-29 06:24:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra_chrome/pseuds/Ultra_chrome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Unbetaed because of the whole 24 hours stop_drop_porn thing.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Gun Shy

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed because of the whole 24 hours stop_drop_porn thing.

  
  
Sometimes I wonder if this will last, or if Ray is simply taking his desire to redeem himself beyond normal limits. Will he eventually realise that he doesn’t want me? That he really only wants to make me feel positively toward him? He is, after all my best friend and the fact that my feelings for him are more than friendly is one I’ve tried to hide from him in the past.

He was actually the deciding factor in my decision to flee with Victoria. I thought I had damaged our friendship beyond repair, and the thought of Chicago without Ray in my life was an unbearable one. So I chose to run. With a woman I knew deep down didn’t love me, but was at least willing to pretend she did, as long as I was useful to her. Cowardly, yes, but in matters of the heart I am not a brave man.

I have to say that I dreaded coming up here with Ray to rebuild my father’s cabin. It would necessitate us sleeping in a tent, together. At least until we could get a roof over part of the structure. Close quarters at the best of times, but I feared it would be intolerable with the awkwardness between us.

Between my own guilt at almost having left him with nothing, and his at having shot me, there was very little reason to hope that our way would be smooth. Our conversations right up until we left for Canada were tentative, to say the very least.

Ray threw himself into the work with gusto. He had purchased a wardrobe suitable to the climate and our task, complete with work gloves. It would seem he had spoken to someone about what would be required him during the building process and was prepared for everything. More than I was prepared for, certainly.

After our first day of chopping timber, my back was quite troublesome and I found it somewhat difficult to get comfortable as we lay in the tent that night. I tried to conceal the pain I was in, but the occasional grunt escaped my lips, despite my efforts. Ray lay very still for some time before he huffed out one his resigned sighs. The one that I have come to understand means he is steeling himself for a course of action he considers foolish, or dangerous.

He crawled out of his sleeping bag and rifled through his duffel bag. In the dim light from the campfire outside, I could see that he held a bottle and wondered what concoction he was going to make me drink. But he simply crawled back to me with it in one hand and I admit to a wave of desire running through me as I saw him, on hands and knees in his underwear and coming to me. I drew my knees up slightly, forming a tent with my sleeping bag to hide the erection I felt growing. The action also relieved a little of the pain in my back.

Ray tugged on the zipper of my bag and I jumped as if burned. What was he thinking?  
“C’mon, Benny. I got this massage oil from some lady in a Natural Therapy place. She said it’s good for sore muscles and scar tissue. I got the biggest bottle.” He said, and he gave me one his most self satisfied smiles. The kind I find very endearing, and also disturbingly arousing.

He plucked at my undershirt and as I shivered under his glancing touch, he instructed me to remove it and roll over. In what was to be my last truly coherent thought for some time, I suggested he find a towel to place between me and the sleeping bag, as it would be easier to launder should the oil spill. He agreed, and his hunt gave me enough time to remove my undershirt and rise to my knees, bent forward just enough to hide my erection. The air on my naked torso was cool, but not cold, and it did nothing to lessen my arousal. Even the spasms in my lower back from the position I was holding were no match for the sight of Ray crawling around with very little clothing covering him

He handed me the towel he had found and sat back on his haunches as I spread it out and lowered myself slowly onto it. Before I had entirely settled myself, he spoke again.  
“Not good enough, Fraser. Your waistband is too high. Where did you get those boxers anyway? The camping store? They’re bigger than this tent.” He chuckled to himself and said, “Take ‘em off, Benny. I need to get way below your armpits.” And then he laughed outright.

“Ray!” I said, in my most scandalised voice, not keen to expose myself fully to his eyes. He mistook my meaning and apologised for making fun of my attire, but as usual he had to justify it by criticising my fashion sense and giving me a lesson in what I should be wearing. He pointed to his own dark silk boxers, somewhat more form fitting than mine and explained that they felt particularly good against the skin. He also informed me that I would look amazing in them.

As I tried to digest his words regarding my appearance, he cleared his throat and his voice was a little unsteady as he said, “Get naked, Fraser. It’s cold out here; I want to get this done.”

I tried to tell him that there was no need for the massage, but he insisted that he was not going to return to his bedroll until he had rubbed my back and I knew better than to argue the point. To be truthful, I didn’t particularly want to. The thought of his hands sliding over my naked skin was more than a trifle tempting, and so I raised my hips enough to slide my shorts down to my knees. Perhaps further than they needed to go, but I maintain that it wasn’t a conscious decision to expose my buttocks to him. As I lay back down, adjusting myself self-consciously so that my half hard penis was against my belly, I turned my head away from him to hide the blush I felt burning my cheeks.

The back of my neck was exposed, however and he could see the reddening there. “You got nothing to be embarrassed about, Benny. Just relax, or this won’t work.”

 

I nodded, but kept my head turned away all the same. I smelt a mixture of scents as he opened the bottle. There was rosemary, peppermint and something that may or may not have been clove, but in much smaller quantity, so that I was unable to identify it positively.

Ray thoughtfully warmed a generous amount in his hands before he placed it on my lower back, right over the newly healed skin that marked the site of the bullet. His touch was gentle and it felt, in my imagination, loving. I shivered again as his fingers ghosted over my scar. He pulled his hand away and his voice was deliciously husky as he asked, “Does it hurt?”

“No, Ray. It’s just…sensitive. Not painful at all.” I replied and he placed his hand back on me, firmer this time. I turned my head toward him and offered him a small smile. But his eyes were not on my face. He was looking at his hand on my back and the expression on his face was not one of remorse. It was unmistakeably hunger. Hope and arousal flared in me in equal parts and I became acutely aware of the rough towel beneath me.

Ray began to rub my back. Slow circles as he leaned forward and I idly watched his thigh muscles working as he rocked rhythmically. The light in the tent was dim, but my vision is good, and I could see the dusting of hair on his legs, and the way it thinned high up, near the edge of his shorts. I placed my hands under my head to stop from reaching out and stroking him there. I knew the skin would be soft, the muscle hard.

Ray turned to look at my face and I closed my eyes quickly, lest he see the desire there, not yet confident that he wanted me as much as I thought he might. His hands stilled and he said, “Benny. This isn’t working for me.”  
The disappointment was crushing, and I’m certain my voice betrayed me as I told him there was no need for him to continue. But he assured me it was a matter of the angle being difficult and that he needed to straddle me in order to do his best work. If I agreed a mite too eagerly, Ray didn’t appear to notice. He resettled himself halfway down my thighs and the pressure of his weight on me changed the pressure of my erect penis against the towel. I caught my breath as silently as possible, but Ray heard and raised himself up a touch as though he thought he had caused me pain.

He said nothing, however and his hands returned to work on my back, sliding firmly in tandem from the small of my back to my shoulders. I moaned shamelessly as he began to work on the tense muscles there and he chuckled. “Hey, the Mountie is human!” was his only comment, and I was too absorbed in the feel of his hands on me, and the rocking motion they caused with each stroke to answer.

I became fully aroused in a short time and began to find it difficult to keep my hips from pressing into the towelling below me. And when Ray sat upright and began working his thumbs into the knots around my scar it became nigh impossible. I was aware that I was breathing almost raggedly by now and soon Ray asked if I was alright. I told him I was perfectly fine and he slapped me playfully on the rump and told me he was done and that I could roll over now.

“Ah, I think I’d prefer to just lie here for a while, if that’s okay.” I told him in my best Mountie voice.  
“Why’s that, Benny?” He asked in his most amused voice.  
“No particular reason, Ray.” I replied.  
He laughed out loud and slapped my behind again. “You’ve got a hard on!!” he said triumphantly, like it was further evidence of my humanity. “I can’t believe it, I gave the Mountie a hard on with my bare hands!” he went on, and I knew he was mocking me kindly, making it seem like an achievement on his part and not a shameful failing on mine. I refrained from comment, not trusting my voice to be my ally in making light of the situation.

Ray also appeared to be in less than perfect control of his vocal abilities as his next words were low and rough. “I could take care of that for you, you know.” He rasped. My heart rate sped up to alarming proportions and I stuttered as I replied.  
“No, no need, Ray. I…I’m certain it will, uh…subside if I just…lay here a while.”  
“No, Benny. It won’t.” He said with an air of certainty.  
“It won’t, Ray?” I asked.  
“No, Benny, it most certainly will not.” I could hear the smile in his voice and I allowed myself a moment’s hope.  
“Why is that, Ray?” I asked, attempting an innocence I didn’t feel.  
“Because I won’t let it.” He whispered as he ran a tantalising finger down the cleft of my buttocks, resting it at the point where it curved under. My thighs were pressed together under him and this prevented him reaching his obvious goal, despite my attempt to arch upward beneath him.

He moved off me and instructed me to roll over. As I did so, I saw that he was removing his undershirt and shorts and I was distracted enough to only make it halfway over. I lay on my side, my erection appearing to reach out for Ray as I took in the sight of him by the firelight flickering through the tent walls.

He was lean but not as thin as his clothes made him appear. The musculature of his chest was highlighted by the hair that grew there and I longed to feel it pressed against my own, hairless chest. To feel it rasp gently against my nipples as he moved over me, our erections sliding together.

He seemed to have the same idea, as he turned to me and pushed me onto my back with a gentle pressure to my shoulder. He straddled me once again and I placed my hands on his thighs, in the very place I had admired earlier. My thumbs made small circles there and he groaned quietly before he asked, “How far are you willing to go, Benny?”  
“Very far, Ray. As far as you want to take me.” I replied, and he stretched over me then, capturing my lips in a kiss that was both gentle and searing.

I was quickly overcome by the many sensations assaulting me. His tongue in my mouth, demanding and needy; the rasp of his hair against my nipples and my belly. And best of all his hardness pressing heat along my own. I tried to part my legs, to settle him more fully on me, but was hampered by my shorts, still around my knees. I made an impatient noise in my throat and tried to lift Ray’s hips from me in order to remove them completely, but he merely pressed harder against me and grunted something that could have been “No”.

So I slid my hands around to his buttocks, so firm and perfect beneath my palms and I pulled him down harder to me. He stretched his legs out alongside mine and at last I had the delicious friction that I craved.

He pulled his mouth from mine and muttered, “Christ, Benny, you feel so good. Better than I imagined.”  
“Ray!” was all I could manage in return. Words had deserted me in my effort to postpone the orgasm I already felt building in me. He seemed to understand the urgency in my voice and raised himself just enough to make our contact teasing and light.

He looked into my eyes and said, “Wait, Benny.” And he reached out for the bottle of oil, passing it to me as his hands were still slippery from my massage. He nodded as I poured a little into my palm and looked down between us to indicate where he wanted it. I hesitated, unsure if I should slick the oil onto my belly or further down, between my legs. He thrust against my navel and rasped, “Touch me. Hold us together.” And I complied with haste, inhaling sharply as I placed my hand around him and drew his penis against my own. My hips jerked upward at the silky touch of his shaft and he collapsed against me, trapping my hand so that I couldn’t stroke us.

“God!” he gasped and took my mouth again as he began to pump into my hand. He licked my lips and nipped gently at my lower lip and I placed my free hand behind his head to steady him and draw him into a deeper kiss. I dared not move under him, knowing that I was riding the edge of completion and wanting this ecstasy to last.

I squeezed my hand ever so slightly tighter around us and he rewarded me with harder and longer thrusts against me. His breathing became as laboured as my own and I found myself unable to hold back any longer. I rocked my hips up to meet Ray’s, counterpoint to his rhythm. It felt like each stroke went on forever and not nearly long enough at the same time.

Ray’s lips stilled and he grunted against my mouth. I felt him throb once, becoming impossibly harder for a brief moment before he exhaled sharply and then I was unable to tell his pulses from my own as I came hard, so hard that I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t continue to thrust. I lay helpless and exposed and spilling my seed along with any hope I had of keeping my feelings for Ray secret.

It took us both quite some time to return to normal breathing patterns and Ray was the first to move. He practically rolled off me and tugged at the towel under me. When I lifted up enough for him to pull it out, he used it to wipe our bellies and took my sticky hand in his, wiping it carefully before bringing it to his lips and kissing the palm. I looked at his face and saw that I needn’t worry about holding my emotions in any longer. This still did not mean I had the courage to voice them, although it was a comfort to know that I need not actively hide them any longer.

Ray tossed the towel aside and dragged his sleeping bag over. “Hey, Benny,” he asked, “how do you zip these things together?”

That was three weeks ago and we have discovered much more of each other’s bodies. A little more almost every night, in fact. And still I can’t seem to let myself accept that Ray’s proclaimed feelings for me are any more than a mixture of guilt and loneliness. I know that Ray believes he loves me, and I love him more than I thought myself capable, but in matters of the heart I am not a confident man. You could say I’m gun shy.

End.


End file.
